LinkedIn — your best partner in scam

Dear so-called security team of LinkedIn, are you for real?

(screenshot of LinkedIn’s canned response: “We reviewed your report. Thanks for reporting Viktoriia Sylenko’s message. We reviewed the message and found it complies with our Professional Community Policies.” — Get used to this answer.)

I’m very happy that your guys checked all my conversations with this half-AI bot, whose primary purpose is to trick me into sharing personal details. Let’s look at what your report is missing.

First, let’s see what is happening in the real life:

Step number one. Let’s find a picture of a busty Asian girl in her late 20s. Create a profile and add there some info about how successful she is and that she is from California. Of course, she is a successful CEO of the most prosperous clothing company in the state.

Step number two. Write to me. I think the fact that I have a CEO plaque in my profile makes me the person of choice for all those scammers.

Step number three. Talk sweet to me. As if I give a damn. Happily married, have a kid, why should I be interested in your fake figure? No answer to this question.

Step number four. Obsessively ask for my cell phone number. Well, of course! You know that your fake days are numbered on this platform.

I mean, what a red flag. Asking for someone’s cell number.

Meanwhile, LinkedIn security team:

(“This is fine” dog-in-a-burning-room meme)

I guess the idea is as follows:

You guys don’t want to count successful bans reported by your users because you don’t want those to display in your statistics. So, you will continue to pretend that nothing has happened. And I have over a dozen such reports on my account. Every time I report someone like this, I’m inevitably getting “nothing to complain about.” A couple of days later, I can see that the account got blocked.

Well, okay, we all know about those bots swarming LinkedIn. What about actual harassment on your platform? Let’s imagine there is a guy who decides to call me a neo-Nazi. Not sure what awesome thought landed in his over-complicated head, but calling me, a Ukrainian-born US citizen, a supporter of the Russian Nazi regime? I mean, that’s to say the least, far-fetched. Since day one, I’ve been doing everything I could to stop this war. I’ve volunteered hundreds of hours helping refugees, participating in different free-food giveaways. Hence, obviously, a neo-Nazi.

Well, let me ask a security team to do something about this guy.

(screenshot: the same “We reviewed your report” canned response — Oh, have I seen this before? One can never tell.)

Guys, it’s okay if you are swarmed by a big scam-generated botnet. All big companies or platforms do. In fact, it’s a sign of success nowadays. It’s fine if I’m getting hit by some scam and spam on your platform. And you do have a decent security team that handles the cases in the end.

But what are you trying to hide by replying “Everything is Fine” to every one of my requests? Like there isn’t a single request to the LinkedIn security team that you have taken action upon.

So, let’s be real. It will make you guys look much better.